We can fix our mistakes, only if we know we’ve made them.
“Most of us don’t know how to have real honest conversation. Culturally today there’s a lot of yelling and finger pointing. Radical candor creates a bridge to connect the two sides.”
Kim Scott, who literally wrote the book on radical candor (released this week!), will ROCK the way you communicate.
Whether working at her own start up or at Apple or Facebook, Kim has spent her career disproving the old saying “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” Kim believes that – when coming from a place of love and humanity – honesty is the only policy. Stay-at-home moms, CEOs, educators, everyone: radical candor will help you make a bigger impact.
Here are my main takeaways:
- The most important thing is to stop looking up. There’s nothing more damaging to intimacy than hierarchy.
- We often get so focused on what we have to accomplish we forget the person standing in front of us is a human being. (Don’t look at your boss as a tyrant to be toppled, but as a human to engage with.)
- Every person you disagree with deserves common human decency. (Remember not to let go of humanity as you enter political conversations.)
- Don’t set aside who you are in order to accomplish something. Bring who you really are first. Stay centered, give yourself the time to be your best.
- Love is not all you need. You need to be willing to challenge directly. When you challenge someone, you must expect to be challenged in return.
- In practicing radical candor, your goal should be to show that you care about this human being and owning your truth.
- When we challenge each other, we help each other find the best answer and be our best selves.
- We can fix our mistakes. But if we don’t know that we have mistakes, we can’t fix them.
- It’s so important to have conversations and honor the opinions of the people we disagree with.
- We get to such divided places because we’re afraid of having these conversations.
- You can’t have a real conversation over email or social media.
- Quit insulting and focus on ways to work together to get the best answer.
- You learn the most from people who believe things that you don’t.
- Get Kim’s new book Radical Candor here.
- Listen to Kim’s Radical Candor Podcast here.
KIM SCOTT’S LIVE INSPIRED 7
1. What is the best book you’ve ever read? Middlemarch, by George Eliot, offers a great inquiry into human consciousness and a warm view of humanity.
2. Tomorrow you discover your wealthy uncle shockingly dies at the age of 103; leaving you millions. What would you do? I would seek to give it away. I’ve been really lucky in my life.
3. Your house is on fire, all living things and people are out. You have the opportunity to run in and grab one item. What would it be? My journal from my childhood, age 12 until 18. Its so interesting how the promises you make to yourself as a kid guide you for the rest of your life.
4. You are sitting on a bench overlooking a gorgeous beach. You have the opportunity to have a long conversation with anyone living or dead. Who would it be? I love talking to my kids. They always say the most interesting things.
5. What is the best advice you’ve ever received? Someone told me there are two ways to be rich: You have to adjust your income to your desires or adjust your desires to your income.
6. Looking back, what advice would you give yourself at age 20? Relax. It’s all gonna work out better than you imagine! I have watched things that I thought were disasters turn out well. Through experience you relax; being 20 is hard. There are so many unknowns and you try to control everything.
7. It’s been said that all great people can have their lives summed up in one sentence. How do you want yours to read? Radical candor helped to restore civil discourse in American politics.
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I can’t wait to see you here next Thursday! Today is your day. Live Inspired.