Finding Home: Leading from within
“I grew up in New York, in a small place…”
Lolly Daskal grew up in Brooklyn, NY. One of the biggest most metropolitan cities in the world, and yet to Lolly “it felt like a very small place.” Her life existed within a few city blocks and her community only spoke Yiddish, German and Hungarian. Her family was very religious and she was expected to be married and begin having children by 16.
Lolly grew up very inquisitive, which was not supported in an environment where you were expected to just keep things “they way they are.” When she first moved out of the community, she discovered the power of books and believed for the first time: “Wow!” I can ask any question, do anything, be anyone!”
For the first time – her world felt expansive. While she felt she no longer had a home, she found “sometimes you have to get lost to be found.”
Lolly has been an insatiable student of books, the world and human behavior since. Today, she is a highly-sought business coach and author and her mission is to teach others how to “lead from within.”
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- Lolly has read a book a day for 20+ years and attributes much of her success in business to this.
- Self-discovery isn’t easy. You feel like you’re on a wheel and you’re not sure you are ever going to get out; if it is ever going to get better.
- “A game changer for me was reading what Joseph Campbell wrote: ‘In your abyss lies your treasures.’ We have ideas of what we want to be, but life doesn’t unfold that way. If I can remember this quote, then I am okay.”
- Her book The Leadership Gap was published this month and shares her rethink system or 7 leadership archetypes that she’s used with 1,000+ clients.
- Example: “R” is for rebel; someone who wants to make an impact in the world, but they need the confidence to do it. The gap is when you don’t have confidence. How do you get confidence? You identify your capabilities and competencies. You get to choose, are you going to be a rebel and choose confidence or imposter and feel inadequate/undeserving?
- We all have self-doubt because we measure ourselves by everyone else and end up feeling less worthy. Negative internal dialogue is very prominent.
- Ways to overcome imposter syndrome (aka feeling undeserving):
- At night, think about all the things you did well that day. This will help even out negative messages + change your inner dialogue.
- Ask yourself: What did I do today that I can do even better tomorrow? Don’t measure against someone else, measure against yourself
LOLLY DASKAL’S LIVE INSPIRED 7
1. What is the best book you’ve ever read? Man’s Search for Meaning, by Viktor Frankl. She rereads it every year on her birthday. Keeps her grounded in what’s important.
2. Tomorrow you discover your wealthy uncle shockingly dies at the age of 103; leaving you millions. What would you do? Get every single homeless person off the street.
3. Your house is on fire, all living things and people are out. You have the opportunity to run in and grab one item. What would it be? 100s of pictures from when my kids were younger.
4. You are sitting on a bench overlooking a gorgeous beach. You have the opportunity to have a long conversation with anyone living or dead. Who would it be? Victor Frankl and Joseph Campbell.
5. What is the best advice you’ve ever received? “When you are no longer able to change the situation, you will always be a challenge to change yourself.” – Frankl | It will teach you to be flexible to change and challenge yourself, to find something within you that can be different. Continuously grow, learn, change and stay agile.
6. Looking back, what advice would you give yourself at age 20? Let go of perfect.
7. It’s been said that all great people can have their lives summed up in one sentence. How do you want yours to read? Lolly saw greatness in everyone she met.
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I can’t wait to see you here next Thursday! Today is your day. Live Inspired.