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“You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going. What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith and hope.” – Thomas Merton


What’s the best way to handle conflict?

Your conflict could be in a failing relationship with your patient that is impossibly challenging, a co-worker who is unbearably negative, or an individual who is constantly testing your patience. The conflict could also be within you: a challenging diagnosis, self-doubt, a lost sales opportunity or a stagnant business venture.

My friend, whatever your conflict is, there is good news: in joining the chorus of the victor’s song, we change the world within us – and the world around us.

First, let’s recall some of the greatest victor songs of all time. One was sung beautifully by Mahatma Gandhi; his hymn set entire classes of people free, ended unfair taxation, united a country and ended colonial rule.

A little nun from Albania sang hers while serving in India. The song of Mother Teresa’s life continues to motivate more than 4,500 sisters in 133 countries to touch the lives of millions each year.

Martin Luther King Jr. was the choir director for a victor song that echoed throughout his dream and the civil rights movement. In the midst of deep oppression, it reverberated in peaceful marches, bus boycotts and propelled an entire nation toward equality.

What’s most important to recognize: a victor’s song in not just present in historic movements. It is present every time you “recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment and…embrace them with courage, faith and hope.”

I’ve heard the victor songs from individuals, groups, and even entire organizations. I’ve witnessed the benefit and blessing while visiting some of the companies I’ve partnered with: The Brady Corporation, Build-a-Bear, Graybar, Lee Company, Insperity, Ohio Health, Simpson Strong Tie, Southern Company and Texas Roadhouse just to name a few. Each has built massive shareholder returns, extraordinary cultures and significant impact on employees and customers through singing a song rich with possibility, love and hope.

So what does this mean for you?

My friend, the fix we long for doesn’t begin with different policies, new leaders or another program. The key to transforming your organization, whether a household of one or an international conglomerate of thousands, is to not focus on fixing someone else or complaining about what you don’t have. No, that is the song of victims and has been sung by too many for too long. The answer begins with you belting out a different song – your victor’s song.

Today, let’s attract others toward our causes and ignite their possibility with a song of hope and love. Let’s use our voices to inspire others to take back their life ignite their possibility and change their world. Let’s lift up our voices and unite in a universal victor’s song.

You may think you’ve got a bad singing voice, but the world is starved to hear it.

Who do you know that sings a victors song? Or, what other tips do you have to encourage us all to sing our victor song? Please share your comments below!

P.S. I encourage you to complete this short exercise to help you sing your victor’s song.

0 replies on “Victim v. Victor”

ABSOLUTELY: Raise your voice, be heard, let the world know you care and they can’t stop you. People want to hear you, they want to be led. If you have the courage, people will listen and you can change your world. It takes courage oh so much, but if you believe you can do it. Examples like John are proof. My friend and supporter for the past three years. Now I am singing and everyone wants to hear. Michael J.

John… I’ve never been afraid to ding out loud… But have often had trouble putting it to music!! Think we are on go something now tho!!! Sing it loud! Sing it strong!!

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