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Coffee from Beth2“We do not have to love. We choose to love.” – M. Scott Peck [Tweet this.]

There is a significant gap between living from a place where we feel obligated to perform and living with a mindset that views it as an opportunity.

Last week I was reminded of this through the simple action and words of my wife.

It was early morning, I got home at 2am the night before from the west coast and was physically spent. As I groggily reached for a towel after my shower, I noticed a mug of hot coffee waiting for me on the bathroom sink.

My wife, Beth, who doesn’t drink coffee, made a pot, poured a cup, ran up a flight of steps and placed it where I couldn’t miss it. Now, her morning was hectic, too. She had four little ones to get up, three lunches to pack and a meeting at school to get to.

I dressed quickly, danced down the steps, kissed my four little ones and thanked Beth for her thoughtfulness. I asked why she made me coffee and she responded, “Because I wanted to.”

My friends, ‘wanting’ to do something is so much more liberating than ‘having’ to do something. [Tweet this.]

In marriage we commit with the simple words: “I do.” So often in life, though, that simple notion of “I want to” degrades into “I have to.” The former comes from the choice to love, the latter from an obligation of fear.

Choosing love, living from “I want to” will positively impact not only your family, but also your business, spirituality, relationships and life. You’ll discover yourself more present, active, engaged and effective. Fueled by love, you’ll discover yourself to be less timid making sales calls, less anxious dealing with challenge, less likely to complain about what’s wrong and more likely to celebrate what’s right.

The tension and stress associated with “I have to” go to work, forgive her, move forward, watch my weight, clean my house, pick up the kids, be home for dinner, or get back into my faith dissipates when the sentence begins with “I want to.”

So brew a pot of coffee, fill the mug high and deliver it to those around you with a smile. Free yourself from the chains of “I have to” and be set on fire with the joy again of “I want to.” It will change your thoughts, words and actions. It will also impact those lucky enough to be drinking the coffee you’re serving.

You do not have to love. You choose to love. Make that choice today.

What is one thing you did this weekend out of love? Please inspire us all to choose love today by sharing in the comments below. I can’t wait to hear!

This blog is part of my Monday Morning Motivation weekly blog series. Sign up here to receive it via email each week. My inspiration for this blog came from one of my Facebook posts last week. “Like” me on Facebook to get daily inspiration

0 replies on ““Because I wanted to””


I would love it if you could lead a professional development day with my staff this fall. How can I go about making this happen?


Every Monday I am so inspired by your words. This week’s message really struck a chord with me. As a Catholic school principal, I challenge all of the students and staff to choose joy in their lives instead of letting the negatives control our lives. Now I will mix in choosing love as well. BTW I told your wife Beth that I loved your story about her. Blessings!

I have been working hard to prepare for a securities exam for my new career. Meanwhile, my wife is working hard at her photography business with weddings every weekend this month having her work six days a week. She had a list of to-do items that she had started for herself that I found on the kitchen counter on Saturday. I decided to break away from my studies and go out and knock off a couple of items from her list (completing her shopping list and getting some work done around the yard). She got home at about 9:00 that night after a long day on her feet and was so grateful to see that I had done these things for her. I felt great knowing that I was able to demonstrate my love and appreciation for her by helping her with some of her “have to” items.

Thanks for the article today John. It has helped me gain a positive outlook on all the efforts my wife and I are making in our careers that may be keeping us from doing some fun activities we might prefer to do right now. I realize that we want to do these things because we want the life that comes with the efforts we are putting forth.

God Bless!

AWESOME, Dave! What a great example of WANTING to do for your wife and for yourself and for your future. Continue boldy. J

Twice a week my husband has early morning bible studies. He always goes out to the street, (we live down a long lane) gets the newspaper, then makes a cup of tea, and leaves them both by our bed, where I am usually sound asleep, because he is quietly trying not to wake me up! I often watch him as he tiptoes in and out of our bedroom, and thank God for such a thoughtful husband….after 57 yrs of marriage, he’s still serving me!! And I’m very grateful/thankful. He chooses to love and serve me in this and other ways.

Ah, thank you for sharing this sweet, sweet tradition with us. 57 years of choosing love. Thank you for all that you do! J

I really wanted to hit the links for the first time on this beautiful Sunday afternoon, nothing officially planned but in my thoughts for days. My wife who is quite the athlete asked if I would join her on a bike ride. Golf and a few beers sounded better but off to a bike ride I went. Twenty four miles later and a soar backside, I am glad we spent the time together and I did get rewarded with an ice cream.

I spent the weekend with 50 women…busy….packed full of activity, chatter, love, laughter. Came home Sunday peaceful, but quite exhausted. What I did out of love was get myself ready and show up for my friend, Jesus…church at 6 p.m.!

Amen! Way to show up for you and for Jesus. It takes commitment and love to show up. Thanks for sharing and for ALL that you do. J

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