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a young man with his necktie loosened drinking coffee in a paper“Man is not, by nature, deserving of all that he wants. When we think that we are automatically entitled to something, that is when we start walking all over others to get it.” – C. Jami

“Give me a double latte. Venti. Half pump vanilla. Soy. No foam. With whip. Extra hot. To go. And hurry it. I’m in a rush.”
This was the order the person before me placed at a coffee shop last week.

It was barked without the slightest acknowledgement of the young man taking the order.

The attitude that leads to orders like this, snapped out rudely at others, is on display in every corner of our society. This attitude stems from the pervasive belief that all we have is rightfully and permanently ours.

This entitlement mentality whispers to us that: This coffee, this day, this life, should be all about me. [Tweet this.]

That voice leads us to use others, use events, use baristas, use work, even use God, as minor stagehands and supportive actors in the great story of “Me.”

And yet, the consumption of this drink leaves us thirsty.

The assumption that it’s all about me, in a society and marketplace that promises so much, that allows us to have anything we want as quickly as we want it, also provides continual disappointments.

The baristas in our life will likely add too much, or too little vanilla. They’ll serve it too hot, or, oh no, too cold. The foam will be too whipped or missing entirely.

When life is all about us, we are certain to be continually disappointed. [Tweet this.]

Today, shift your expectations from what you “deserve” from this day, this relationship and this life into one that demands you ask: “What more can I do to pour myself into or others and elevate their lives today?”

My friends, by making this small shift in our thinking from what we “should be getting” to “what we could be sharing” will leave us all with just enough: coffee, love, kindness and everything in between.

Be ignited today for what you can give, not what you should receive. And I promise: you’ll receive more than you ever could have expected.

What is one thing you can give today? Please share in the comments below.

4 replies on “How to Silence the Whisper of Entitlement”

My New Year started with an appointment to get a massage and infrared sauna BUT although receiving confirmation for our appointments, my husband and I waited 45 minutes in the parking lot for someone to show up. When we needed to use the restroom, we left to find the nearest one. A Starbucks was close by so we went in right to our destinations then proceeded to order a hot beverage. We sat on the comfy couch where a gentleman was sitting across. I said, “Happy New Year” to him and he responded in kind. Then said, “I like how you are sitting next to each other” (since the couch had lots more room for me to move to the other end, but I sat right next to my husband). I told him that we always sit next to each other even in restaurants, never across from one another. He asked how long we have been married. My husband said 34 years. Impressed, he asked “what is your secret?” I said God and my husband said love…(same thing) He said, “I knew you were Christians or you were high!” To not proceed with a long story , the jest of this is that we made plans but God directed our steps to give to this man, prayer and encouragement. He was so thankful and receptive. It was far better than the feel good massage we were anticipating. It truly is better to give than to receive. And when we are watchful for opportunities to give in some way, there is always someone waiting to receive.

One thing I can give is my time-time to bring cheer, conversation and positivity to my 82 year old mom that loves connecting with her children; time to train a puppy for a non-profit service dog organization that brings freedom and peace of mind to those with mobility or health challenges; time to volunteer with our county Medical Reserve Corps and Community Emergency Response team so that in the unfortunate time of emergency I can give a helping hand to those in need in my area. And all of those things are what ignite me with happiness, passion, gratitude and hope for a future even better than today! My time isn’t “spent” doing things for others-my time is invested wisely in doing things that fulfill me each and every day because human connection is the best gift we have to give!

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