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Home | Parade Magazine | Ask John: What Do You Do When You're Sad? | People consoling another person

People consoling another person

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johnoleary.inspires

Live + virtual speaker. 2x bestselling author. Live Inspired Podcast Host. Best last: Husband. Dad.

“Sympathy is easy because it comes from a positi

“Sympathy is easy because it comes from a position of power. Empathy is getting down on your knees and looking someone else in the eye, and realizing that you could be them, and that all that separates you is luck.” -Dennis Lahane
While on my knees next to my fallen dad several years ago, I thought of this quote.
Dad has been living with Parkinson’s disease for almost three decades. Over this time, he’s lost the ability to walk, drive and earn. It’s difficult for my dad to speak and lately, becoming more difficult to swallow.
And yet today, Dad, seated in his trusty wheelchair, is the perfect embodiment of the joy we all wish we possessed.
He engages with those around him. He smiles and laughs easily. He’s grateful for all he has and content with his life. Dad deals with constant pain and is racked with continuous challenges, but simply refuses to be a victim to his circumstances.
But even as his son, it’s easy to miss the totality of his difficulties. When I see Dad, he’s got his khaki pants on, shirt tucked in, hair brushed, and smile on. He makes it look easy.
But with Mom away for a weekend with her daughters several years ago, I saw firsthand how hard it actually is.
Every single movement Dad made was ripe with risk and a chance of pain. Due to a torn rotator cuff, he was unable to use his right arm, which created far greater stress on his left arm. Simple activities many of us take for granted – rising from his bed, sitting up, pivoting into a wheelchair, rolling toward the bathroom, getting dressed – required great effort.
I obviously suspected it was hard, but staying with my dad and caring for him in my mother’s absence gave me a totally different understanding.
As we prepared for bed, I rolled Dad into the bathroom. I helped him change, wash his face, and use the bathroom. As he stood to transfer, Dad lost his balance, I lost my grip, and we both fell.
It wasn’t physically painful for either of us, but it was eye opening for me.
There we were, on a cold tile floor... continued in comments.

“Lord Jesus, just be with this young couple as t

“Lord Jesus, just be with this young couple as they try to make it home. We know all things are possible with you, so help them get home. Amen”
Flying from Houston through New Orleans back home to St Louis. Our first flight was delayed about an hour giving us 12 minutes from when we landed to when the next flight was set to takeoff. Even less by the time our plane parked.
The woman one row ahead of us heard us talking about how tight this connection would be. She turned around and said, “You two are going to make this flight. You got this …. because God’s got you.” She then offered the prayer above.
My friends, three things here:
1. I didn’t know that lady praying for us. She just cared enough to make our problem hers and then lift us up in prayer.
2. I also didn’t know the lady sitting next to me either! We weren’t a couple! She just happened to be flying up to be with friends for the weekend in St Louis.
3. I type this while being seated. In a middle seat. Out of breath. But on that flight home!
So what’s the point?
My friends, let’s strive to be a little more like the unlnown, unnamed, beautiful lady in row 7. It costs nothing to be loving and kind to others. But it just might change their day. It might even help them catch a flight.
This is your day. Live Inspired. J
Join me November 25th for a live experience that will positively change your life. Come as you are. Leave On Fire For Good.
Learn more at OnFireForGood.com

Each day, more than 54 million Americans are respo

Each day, more than 54 million Americans are responsible for serving as a caregiver for a loved one.
Three decades with Parkinson’s disease has made movement for my father Denny O’Leary nearly impossible. But with the help of another person, guiding him from spot to spot, supporting him in the shower, assisting as he gets dressed, and guiding a wheelchair from room to room, the absolute impossible becomes possible. And this care happens all day, every day.
For Dad, the person doing all that work is my mother, Susan O’Leary. She’s remarkable, and she’s not alone.
Often caregiving is a burden to bear and a problem to be solved. And yet as an expert in gerontology, Dr. Sarah Teten Kanter is on a mission to make caregiving and care receiving a time to savor and an opportunity for personal growth.
Today, Sarah shares the simple activities, conversation-inspiring questions, and self-care practices designed to immerse caregivers and their care partners in gratitude, empathy, forgiveness, love, and awe. Why these five specific emotions? By exuding these positive emotions, it’s been shown to improve health, reduce stress and create meaning in daily life in the relationships of caregivers and care receivers.
My friends, this conversation reminds us to embrace the full gift of life at every stage and every age.
Listen to Dr. Sarah Teten Kanter on Live Inspired Podcast ep 604 now. Links in bio.
cc: @PositiveCaregiving

As a high school freshman, I’d never been to a c

As a high school freshman, I’d never been to a concert and never understood why people would take their hard-earned money from cutting grass to attend one. With a band from Ireland coming to St. Louis, my sister Amy encouraged me to attend with her. After some push back from me, she finally said, “John, it’s going to rock. You’ll love it. Come and see.”
Surrounded by 56,000 fellow background singers belting every lyric with Bono, I realized Amy was right. There is something remarkable about U2, about live music, and about shared experience with friends.
As a college freshman playing NHL95 in a dorm, my roommate, John Jackson, encouraged me to go with him to a fraternity rush party. Content to stay in my room and improve my gaming skills, I told him I wasn’t going. John walked over to the television, turned it off and told me I was going. He added, “Besides, the guys are great. You’ll have a blast. Come and see.”
I ended up pledging that fraternity, became lifelong friends with those guys, and grew in confidence during those years. And at one of the fraternity parties, I even met a beautiful brunette named Beth. Turns out my buddy John was right.
As a parent of three boys under five while maintaining a travel-intensive speaking schedule, I found myself meandering a bit in my spiritual journey. Several men I barely knew encouraged me to check out a weekend ACTS retreat to recenter my faith. One of them, Glenn Fox, wrote a two-page letter and ended it by reminding me “In the midst of the busyness of your life, come join us to be reminded of what matters most. You’ll be glad you did. Come and see.”
That weekend, and the more than 10 ACTS weekends I’ve participated in subsequently, rooted me in my faith, provided clarity professionally, and elevated my focus as a husband and father. It also blessed me with an incredible network of guys I love.
Why share these stories with you? Continued in comments...

Shame doesn't stand a chance against humanity. #La

Shame doesn't stand a chance against humanity. #LaraLoveHardin #JohnOleary #JohnOLearyInspires #LiveInspired #LiveInspiredPodcast

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John O'Leary - Live Inspired

1 day ago

“Sympathy is easy because it comes from a position of power. Empathy is getting down on your knees and looking someone else in the eye, and realizing that you could be them, and that all that separates you is luck.” -Dennis LahaneWhile on my knees next to my fallen dad several years ago, I thought of this quote.Dad has been living with Parkinson’s disease for almost three decades. Over this time, he’s lost the ability to walk, drive and earn. It’s difficult for my dad to speak and lately, becoming more difficult to swallow.And yet today, Dad, seated in his trusty wheelchair, is the perfect embodiment of the joy we all wish we possessed.He engages with those around him. He smiles and laughs easily. He’s grateful for all he has and content with his life. Dad deals with constant pain and is racked with continuous challenges, but simply refuses to be a victim to his circumstances.But even as his son, it’s easy to miss the totality of his difficulties. When I see Dad, he’s got his khaki pants on, shirt tucked in, hair brushed, and smile on. He makes it look easy.But with Mom away for a weekend with her daughters several years ago, I saw firsthand how hard it actually is.Every single movement Dad made was ripe with risk and a chance of pain. Due to a torn rotator cuff, he was unable to use his right arm, which created far greater stress on his left arm. Simple activities many of us take for granted – rising from his bed, sitting up, pivoting into a wheelchair, rolling toward the bathroom, getting dressed – required great effort.I obviously suspected it was hard, but staying with my dad and caring for him in my mother’s absence gave me a totally different understanding.As we prepared for bed, I rolled Dad into the bathroom. I helped him change, wash his face, and use the bathroom. As he stood to transfer, Dad lost his balance, I lost my grip, and we both fell.It wasn’t physically painful for either of us, but it was eye opening for me.There we were, on a cold tile floor. My sweet dad struggling to get back into the chair. His under-powered son trying to help, but also mindful of sore limbs and cautious not to cause greater injury.On our hands and knees, we caught our breath. For a long while, we just stared at each other.No words were spoken. None had to be. And perhaps for the first time since my father’s Parkinson’s diagnosis I had sincere, heart-wrenching, eye-opening empathy for what this brave man deals with each day.As his caretaker that evening, though, my heart expanded even more for his primary caretaker, his awesome wife, my remarkable mom.Like my dad, Mom never complains. A mighty reason why their life is as beautiful as it is stems from her steadfast faithfulness, ferocious optimism, and loving stubbornness. She just refuses to give in or to give up. She simply loves life too much for that attitude. And she loves her husband too much.It just took laying on their tile bathroom floor for me to see it clearly.(I was reminded of this experience while interviewing Dr. Sarah Teten Canter on our podcast last week. If you are one of the more than 54 million people responsible for caregiving for a loved one, she’s an expert on positive caregiving and has an amazing life story to share. Check it out here: johnolearyinspires.com/podcast/archive/sarah-teten-kanter/)My friends, the best way to really know about someone else is to be humble enough to get down on our knees, meet them where they are, look them in the eye, and realize that we could be them.Sometimes the person we’ll connect more deeply with will be someone we may not look, vote, worship, or act like. Other times, it will be a person you’ve loved your entire life that you’re fortunate enough to call Dad.This is your day. Live Inspired. ... See MoreSee Less

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John O'Leary - Live Inspired

4 days ago

“Lord Jesus, just be with this young couple as they try to make it home. We know all things are possible with you, so help them get home. Amen”Flying from Houston through New Orleans back home to St Louis. Our first flight was delayed about an hour giving us 12 minutes from when we landed to when the next flight was set to takeoff. Even less by the time our plane parked. The woman one row ahead of us heard us talking about how tight this connection would be. She turned around and said, “You two are going to make this flight. You got this …. because God’s got you.” She then offered the prayer above. My friends, three things here: 1. I didn’t know that lady praying for us. She just cared enough to make our problem hers and then lift us up in prayer. 2. I also didn’t know the lady sitting next to me either! We weren’t a couple! She just happened to be flying up to be with friends for the weekend in St Louis. 3. I type this while being seated. In a middle seat. Out of breath. But on that flight home! So what’s the point?My friends, let’s strive to be a little more like the unlnown, unnamed, beautiful lady in row 7. It costs nothing to be loving and kind to others. But it just might change their day. It might even help them catch a flight. This is your day. Live Inspired. J ... See MoreSee Less

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John O'Leary - Live Inspired

5 days ago

Each day, more than 54 million Americans are responsible for serving as a caregiver for a loved one.Three decades with Parkinson’s disease has made movement for my father Denny O’Leary nearly impossible. But with the help of another person, guiding him from spot to spot, supporting him in the shower, assisting as he gets dressed, and guiding a wheelchair from room to room, the absolute impossible becomes possible. And this care happens all day, every day.For Dad, the person doing all that work is my mother, Susan O’Leary. She’s remarkable, and she’s not alone.Often caregiving is a burden to bear and a problem to be solved. And yet as an expert in gerontology, Dr. Sarah Teten Kanter is on a mission to make caregiving and care receiving a time to savor and an opportunity for personal growth.Today, Sarah shares the simple activities, conversation-inspiring questions, and self-care practices designed to immerse caregivers and their care partners in gratitude, empathy, forgiveness, love, and awe. Why these five specific emotions? By exuding these positive emotions, it’s been shown to improve health, reduce stress and create meaning in daily life in the relationships of caregivers and care receivers.My friends, this conversation reminds us to embrace the full gift of life at every stage and every age.Listen to Dr. Sarah Teten Kanter on Live Inspired Podcast ep 604 now:My website: johnolearyinspires.com/podcast/archive/sarah-teten-kanter/Your favorite podcast app: link.chtbl.com/tOmM9ExS ... See MoreSee Less

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John O'Leary - Live Inspired

6 days ago

“Having a good time together is the essence of lovingness and the best means of increasing it.” Benjamin SpockA client I’ve previously partnered with several times invited me speak this week. It would be our fourth time working together, and this time the event would be held in Nantucket. His invitation came with one condition, though: He insisted I bring my wife. Ummm. Ok. We can do that!For a couple that spends a lot of time racing after kids and busy up at school and keeping wildly hectic work schedules and sometimes pass like ships in the night, it was an absolute delight to have 48 hours together to slow down, explore an amazing island, dance in the rain (literally) bask in the sun, and walk the quaint cobblestone streets. It was sacred time to be reminded not only of the beauty of life, but the joy discovered in simply spending time together. Tonight, we are back to helping kids with homework, racing off to practices, catching up at work…. In other words, life. But the smiles on our faces in this picture are still plastered on our faces this evening. Grateful to my dear for the gift he gave Beth and me. Turns out having a good time together is the essence of lovingness ….. and the best means of increasing it. JPS: My friends, although I can’t offer you Nantucket, I want to invite you to an experience certain to remind you of the beauty of life and the joy of spending time with friends. Join me the Saturday after Thanksgiving at our first annual ‘On Fire For Good’ experience. I am bringing some of the most remarkable people I’ve met from around the world onto one stage to remind YOU of the beauty of your story and truth that the best is yet to come. Part storytelling. Part concert. All heart! Let’s create an unforgettable experience together. Learn more at www.OnFireForGood.com ... See MoreSee Less

On Fire, For Good

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On Fire For Good is an evening of inspiration, celebration, and community like only John O’Leary can do it!

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John O'Leary - Live Inspired

1 week ago

As a high school freshman, I’d never been to a concert and never understood why people would take their hard-earned money from cutting grass to attend one. With a band from Ireland coming to St. Louis, my sister Amy encouraged me to attend with her. After some push back from me, she finally said, “John, it’s going to rock. You’ll love it. Come and see.” Surrounded by 56,000 fellow background singers belting every lyric with Bono, I realized Amy was right. There is something remarkable about U2, about live music, and about shared experience with friends.As a college freshman playing NHL95 in a dorm, my roommate, John Jackson, encouraged me to go with him to a fraternity rush party. Content to stay in my room and improve my gaming skills, I told him I wasn’t going. John walked over to the television, turned it off and told me I was going. He added, “Besides, the guys are great. You’ll have a blast. Come and see.”I ended up pledging that fraternity, became lifelong friends with those guys, and grew in confidence during those years. And at one of the fraternity parties, I even met a beautiful brunette named Beth. Turns out my buddy John was right.As a parent of three boys under five while maintaining a travel-intensive speaking schedule, I found myself meandering a bit in my spiritual journey. Several men I barely knew encouraged me to check out a weekend ACTS retreat to recenter my faith. One of them, Glenn Fox, wrote a two-page letter and ended it by reminding me “In the midst of the busyness of your life, come join us to be reminded of what matters most. You’ll be glad you did. Come and see.”That weekend, and the more than 10 ACTS weekends I’ve participated in subsequently, rooted me in my faith, provided clarity professionally, and elevated my focus as a husband and father. It also blessed me with an incredible network of guys I love.Why share these stories with you?Well, my friends, after years of traveling, hundreds of podcast interviews, and innumerable impromptu conversations on airplanes, I’ve met some of the most remarkably talented and inspirational people in the world. I’ve heard life stories that filled me with hope and reminded me we all have the potential to be used for good.To ensure we kick off the upcoming holiday season right, I’m hosting a live event that you can attend in my hometown of St. Louis or stream virtually anywhere around the world. The evening will be part storytelling, part concert, and all heart. It will bring together the very best of those I’ve met on one stage to remind the rest of us of our ability to positively change the world — starting with our own.This experience, On Fire For Good, will fill your heart with gratitude, prepare you for the coming holiday season, and remind you that your best is yet to come. We want you to share it with us.Not sure if you can make it? Not sure it will be worth your time? Not sure if the message will resonate with you? Not sure if you’ll be back from your black Friday shopping spree?Come and see.My friends, in the busyness of the approaching holiday season and the chaotic nature of our lives, this experience will remind you what matters most, reinforce the beauty of your story, and absolutely set you On Fire For Good. Join me the Saturday after Thanksgiving, November 25th, at 7 p.m. either in our live audience in St. Louis or our virtual audience by livestreaming wherever you are that night.It will be an evening of inspiration, celebration, and community.Come as you are. Leave On Fire For Good.I can’t wait to see you there.onfireforgood.com/ ... See MoreSee Less

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