A reminder that you don’t need to tackle tough times alone.
“I will love the light for it shows me the way. Yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.” -Og Mandino
We quickly judge others on the answers they provide.
We vote for politicians because of the answers they give during debates, the zingers they fire at their opponents and the pithy posts they make on social media. We follow thought leaders because of the brilliant answers they provide to the questions we have. And organizationally, we assign the title of leader to those who have all the answers.
And yet, a more nuanced and beneficial approach shouldn’t be simply in judging the answers they give, but instead the questions they ask. People often reveal themselves in the humility of the questions they ask or the unwillingness to ask them in the first place. An encounter with a young man reminded me of this truth.
My favorite aspect of speaking with audiences is always the opportunity to visit individually afterwards. A community event provided such a chance with more than 800 gathered and many of them sticking around at the conclusion to have books signed and personal stories shared. Throughout the book signing, though, I noticed a young man waiting off to the side.
As the room emptied, he eventually approached and asked if we could talk for a moment.
We walked from the atrium where others still lingered to a quiet area and sat down in the theater.
He told me how moved he was during the presentation. He shared that he was new to the area and struggling in school. High school was hard and making friends wasn’t easy. His eyes watered as he spoke.
Then he asked a telling question: “John, were there ever days when you regretted living through the fire; or days after when you wondered if you’d be better off dead?”
I told him honestly that there were many difficult days that I struggled mightily. Five long months in the hospital, losing my fingers to amputation, lots of difficulties in school, challenges in dating and struggles professionally. Even today, as good as life is, many days are hard.
I shared that although I wouldn’t have chosen any of the challenges, looking back on them it’s so clear to me now that through them my character was forged, my faith was tested and a drive to live fully was stoked.
I asked him about what he’s going through.
We discussed his family, his struggles, his school and his life. It was an honest, painful and beautifully open conversation. We exchanged information to stay connected and at the end, as we got ready to step back into crowds and life, I asked what he was thinking now.
He took a deep breath, looked up at the ceiling, then back at me, before responding, “Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I want to live.”
The young man then committed to talking to his school counselor, being honest with his family and even gave me permission to share the conversation with his principal.
The fight, in other words, was no longer just his. The despair of today was no longer greater than the hope for tomorrow. And the darkness no longer more powerful than the light.
My friend, we all go through dark times. The good news is that your life matters, the foundation remains firm, better days are ahead and you are not alone. These aren’t platitudes, but transformational truth.
You see, light is awesome. It shows us the way. It provides clarity.
And yet, it is in enduring the darkness that permits us to actually see the stars and more fully appreciate the light.
This is your day. Live Inspired.
10 replies on “What Can You See in the Dark?”
So happy that you took the time to visit with this young man and he had the courage to talk to you. Prayers that he continues to move forward.
John, You are such a blessing; so grateful for your recorded talks. I struggle so much, you help me recall, life is good. Working on gratitude this year. I just wanted to give you a virtual hug, and say thanks for taking the time, for this young man. I cannot help but feel, you saved his life, today.
Wow John. This one brought tears to my eyes. How many kids like this young man are out there but has no one to throw them a life line. Your impact matters to so many people but after reading this II’d venture to say you don’t care so much about the size of the crowd. What DOES matter is the “one.” This one young man who was desperate enough to approach you and you cared enough to respond. Now THAT matters. Thank you for this powerful reminder John. (And say hi to my son next time you see him. That guy…he matters ALOT to me.)
my thoughts exactly
“The despair of today was no longer greater than the hope for tomorrow. And the darkness no longer more powerful than the light.” – Powerful words!
John, a wonderful exchange thanks for sharing it with the rest of us. May the new light bring this young man out to see the wonderful day.
The last three lines are the best of life advice. Heart hurts for this young man and so happy he found you to help him find himself
Great inspiring writings of the true trials of reality in life. God bless you my brother, keep doing God’s plan He has for your life.
Your emails are the best things I read all week! You make such a difference in the world. My husband and son both went to DeSmet and got to hear you speak at a father/son event one year. What a privilege and a gift that must’ve been for both of them to hear your message in person! Thank you for all that you do for countless people everywhere! You are an inspiration, a true man of faith and an example to all of us!
Sounds like a real blessing that you and this young man met. I sure wish you would come to Missoula, MT!