The Greatest Speech I’ve Ever Heard

Denny O’Leary’s 80th Birthday Celebration.

A wonderful perk of my business is getting to share the stage with some of the most remarkable, eloquent, and impactful speakers alive.  To grow in this career, I’ve studied many of the greatest orators ever born. And yet, the greatest speech I ever witnessed wasn’t on some big stage, delivered by someone famous, wearing some fancy suit.  No, it was a far more modest setting, delivered by a far less trained speaker, representing a far more powerful message.  Let me explain.

Last weekend our family celebrated the 80^th birthday of our patriarch, Denny O’Leary.  Seated in a private room, gathered around a single table, our immediate family acknowledged a man who has positively influenced every one of our lives in lifechanging ways.

Before dinner was served, my brother Jim tapped his glass, pushed back his chair, and stood up in front of his parents and siblings. He cleared his throat, got everyone’s attention and then delivered a beautiful prayer capturing our dad’s life. It was perfectly delivered, deeply moving and I hugged him afterwards. But it wasn’t the greatest speech I ever heard.

After Jim sat down, one of my sisters stood. She quoted an emotional scene from The Chosen. Comparing our dad to the individual in the scene who longed for a healing but was being used to change lives with his infirmities. She delivered it brilliantly and it brought each of us to tears.  But it wasn’t the greatest speech I ever heard.

One by one, each O’Leary child took a turn toasting Dad.  And yet by the time we each stood to celebrate his life, the best toast of the night- and the greatest I ever heard- had already been delivered.

You see, just as the waiters were finishing taking orders for dinner, there was a faint tapping on a wine glass from the head of the table. A man, a bit slouched in a wheelchair and unable to speak above whisper level, was trying to get his kids’ attention. In an almost inaudible voice due to his more than three-decade long struggle with Parkinson’s disease, Dad thanked all of us for coming together to celebrate his life.

It was totally unexpected to hear anything from Dad. Several falls recently had bruised his ribs and made speaking nearly impossible.

But more remarkably, after thanking us for gathering, from his wheelchair, rapt in pain and struggling with dyskinesia, he turned to his left, looked at Mom, and thanked her for not leaving his side. A man who has fallen hundreds of times with the disease and who has at different times broken both arms, both wrists, his femur, rotator cuff, and ribs, wanted the girl who is always there to help him back up to know how much he loved her and how grateful he was for her life and her love.

It was beautiful. And he wasn’t finished.

He then went around the totally silent and stunned room sharing with each of his six children and their spouses what he loved most about them. For almost 10 minutes, a man ravaged by a debilitating and progressive disease, with his family and a staff of waiters wiping their eyes, whispered his gratitude for life.

Dad’s life is incredibly difficult. He is physically incapacitated, struggles simply swallowing, is completely reliant on others, and lives in intense pain each day. Life has been hard on him and is getting harder each day.

And yet, with each whisper we heard a man roar that he is profoundly grateful for the gift of his family, the joy of his life, and the promise of his faith.

My friends, we reside in a marketplace that too often seems to relish the wrongs done against us, basks in the negativity of the day, and seldom recognizes fully the blessings received.

It was overwhelming to witness a man who has every reason to complain about his lot in life, lift his faint voice in gratitude for it.

Regardless the struggles we face or our perceived inability to make a difference, know that your voice still matters, your life is still sacred, and your best truly is still yet to come.

Thanks for the reminder, Dad.