What We Seek, We Find

A reminder that what we choose to see matters.

Several years ago, I was getting ready for work when my oldest son, Jack, walked into the bathroom as I was shaving. Just five years old at the time, he stood next to me for a while pretending that he, too, was getting rid of the “stubble” on his cheeks. But then he stopped pretending and began gently touching the scars that cover my torso.

These are the deep red scars, with ridges and lumps that traverse my stomach. These are the scars that remind me of all I went through and would rather forget. They’re the scars that even today I avoid looking at because they’re just too painful.

But on this day Jack traced those scars with his little finger. And he said:

“Daddy?”

“Yeah, bud?”

There was a long pause as he continued tracing his finger along the scars. Then, slowly, he said, “Your tummy is red… it’s bumpy… and it’s ridgy…”

Little Jack stopped his sentence but kept tracing the scars.

During that pause, I prepared to let him know that Dad might be different, but that it was okay. To reassure him that I was burned as a kid, but I was fine. I readied to explain away what I imagined to be his fear and anxiety. But before I assuaged his alarm, Jack added:

“And Daddy, I love it! I just love your red, bumpy, ridgy tummy!”

Yeah, I wasn’t expecting that.

Jack somehow saw beauty, hope, and even joy in those scars. He saw what made me different not as something that negatively defined me. He saw something that could easily be perceived as ugly instead as something that set me apart and somehow made me even more lovable.

So, my friends, when you look at your life, what do you see?

It turns out what we choose to see matters.

If we look for negativity, divisiveness, ugliness and evidence of mean-spiritedness, we’ll find it everywhere. Conversely, when we seek opportunity, unity, beauty and evidence of people doing good, we find it everywhere.

What we seek, we find.

Choose today to be honest enough to identify brokenness within your life, but courageous enough to make it better.

Choose to see intensifying wrinkles and a growing waistline not merely as evidence of advancing age, but as indication of greater wisdom and further validation of the miracle of your life.

Choose to embrace the disappointments and setbacks as opportunities to learn important lessons, a chance to turn a page and the impetus to begin writing a new, even more beautiful chapter in your life.

Choosing to see life like this doesn’t make challenges fade. It just ensures the next time you glance into a mirror, struggle in a relationship or feel discouraged by life you can honestly proclaim, “It may be red, it may be bumpy, it may be ridgy, it may be far from perfect…but I love it.”

And that kind of perspective not only changes what you see, but also what happens next in life.

This is your day. Live Inspired.

I was reminded of this day with Jack during my recent podcast interview with Dr. Blaise Aguirre. A renowned psychiatrist, Dr. Aguirre emphasizes the transformative power of radical acceptance- the idea that embracing ourselves fully, including our pain and imperfections, is the first step toward growth. In the same way that Jack saw beauty in what I was prone to hide, Dr. Aguirre reminds us that our scars -both visible and invisible- are not blemishes to be erased but rather markers of resilience and humanity. Check out the conversation here!