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Monday Motivation | February 9, 2026

The Arrogant Man on the Plane

The reminder I needed about slowing down judgment.

Recently I shared a story online about a flight delayed because of the arrogance of one person. Thousands of people liked the post. Hundreds more commented. And the vast majority agreed that the man in first class was profoundly arrogant.

Here’s what I learned after that post went live:

 It turns out, I was the arrogant one. Let me explain.

Our flight didn’t take off on time because a seat in first class was wobbly. The passenger seated there refused to sit in it, insisted it be fixed, and declined to switch seats with anyone else.

When the captain came on the intercom, he sounded baffled, calling it the strangest reason for a delay he’d ever seen. Later, a flight attendant made her way toward those of us seated further back in the plane and explained what was happening in first class. Though she wouldn’t identify the passenger involved, to those of us watching from the back, it was obvious.

We could see the man standing. We saw him pointing, the back-and-forth with his wife, the way he looked angrily at others. In the back of the plane, we chatted about his arrogance and didn’t just assume what was happening, we knew.

During the ninety minutes we waited for maintenance to fix a wobbly seat on a plane with plenty of open seats, I found myself growing in anger. This guy’s selfishness, stubbornness and arrogance is the reason all of us are going to arrive late. The lady behind me will miss a funeral, the gentleman next to me will miss a connection to Hawaii. A young mom who had hoped to put her kids to bed for the first time this week won’t have the chance. All because of one man.

Eventually we did take off. Arriving almost two hours late to the airport, we all hustled through the terminal trying to catch flights that had likely already departed. By chance, I ended up waiting for a train to a different terminal next to, of all people, the man’s wife. She stood, arms crossed, visibly upset.

Fueled by frustration, certainty, and judgment, I said, “You know, an entire plane full of people are missing connecting flights because your husband wouldn’t just move seats.”

She uncrossed her arms, looked me in the eyes and said, “That wasn’t us. It was the woman behind us. She refused to move. We’re missing our connection, too.”

Oof.

In one sentence, she handed me truth. And a mirror.

The entire back of the plane had the wrong person, the wrong facts, the wrong story. Even more than that, I was so convinced I had it right that I confronted a total stranger with my verdict.

On my rerouted flight- and the three-hour drive that followed- I had plenty of time to digest a lesson I didn’t enjoy, but needed to receive: I can be so arrogant.

How often do I take a snapshot and call it the whole story? Hear a fragment and pronounce judgement? Assign blame without knowing the facts?

My friends, there’s a lot of tension in the world right now. We’re surrounded by hot takes and headlines and “certainty.” We observe, we assume and we grow confident, sometimes to the point of arrogant ,in what we think we know.

But what would happen if we paused before we judged. Listened before we reacted. Extended grace before we condemned.

Today, let’s choose curiosity over judgment. Grace over frustration. Understanding over winning.

I needed that reminder a couple weeks ago.

Maybe you need it today.

It’s a lesson that may not change the world. But it can change yours.

And maybe that’s where the real work begins.

Today is your day.  Live Inspired.

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71 replies on “The Arrogant Man on the Plane”

John thank you for sharing your story, it gives me much to think about! I struggle from losing my husband. I know God has a plan & my job is to trust.
God Bless you! Susan

John thank you for sharing your story, it gives me much to think about! I struggle from losing my husband. I know God has a plan & my job is to trust.
God Bless you! Susan

AMEN!!! I have a small coffee shop in Glendale, MO and am going to print this Inspiration and post it for patrons to see. THANK YOU!!

So true and so important for all of us to examine ourselves to see where we are being prideful or arrogant. God resist the proud but gives grace to the humble.

Several years ago, my husband and I were in Germany and stopped at Dachau. Towards the end of a heart-wrenching tour, my husband sat on a bench and proceeded to immerse himself in his cell phone. I could not believe my eyes and was getting more and more upset…but somehow Grace kept me from saying something to him. On the drive back to our hotel, he started crying and said he had to do something to distract himself from all the pain and suffering that went on there. So he was looking at baseball scores —and praying.
If I had spoken up in anger and judgment at him, I’m not sure we would be married today. We will celebrate 46 years together in April.
Thank you so much for sharing this story!

Thanks so much for this beautiful reminder- understanding over assumption. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your blog. Keep ’em coming.
-Apostle Dorothy Henley (Baltimore)

Wow I guess that was very frustrating for you all on the plane. My name is Jon Degreef I saw you at the oreilly conference. You were awesome. I watched your movie twice once with the wife and then with my dad. Thank you are loved and there is nothing you can do about it.

Hi John,
I heard you at THINQ and love your message.
This article is so powerful. This sort of thing has happened to me as well. It’s always a good reminder that we need to not judge so quickly based on the outward appearance of things, even when we think we know what’s really going on.

Thanks for sharing your heart with us.

Now that I have the benefit of your lesson, and hindsight, there’s more to consider.

What would have happened if they had moved seats? Sure, it would have been OK on your flight. But on the next flight, maybe the experience you had would show up again, possibly with greater inconvenience. Or eventually, someone would have sat in that seat. Imagine if the plane hit turbulence on that flight? It’s possible that the person who insisted it get fixed saved a bunch of people from a worse-than-unpleasant situation.

I often think it would be better to get to something later. Yet cleaning up a small problem has its merits.

Thank you for this vulnerable & transparant update. I too can be quick to assume I know, and be partly or completely wrong. I appreciate your reminder and challenge to us. This can change 1 person’s world, mine, but also those around me, very quickly.

This is so true in today’s world. Thanks for sharing. We all need to take pause without jumping to judgment!! Thanks for sharing! Love, Love Soul on Fire! Have taken many friends to see it.

Thank you for that reminder, we certainly need that in our daily lives. We meet for a brief moment when you signed your book for my sons and me. You were our motivational speaker at United Regional Health Care System in Wichita Falls, Tx.
I loved the books and the movie “On Fire”. May life continue to prosper and bless you, your family and give wisdom to others through your life’s journey.

I enjoyed this weeks post- the assumption problem rises during stress and critical thinking where curiosity lays is needed. Your experience suggests you were under duress, and went into system 1 thinking and made assumptions that was without evidence but based feelings, which were fed by duress. How do you remain curious and system 2 thinking mode? It is hard but practicing it over and over so it becomes close to innate as possible. I have found personal success by practicing during non duress times. Then during duress, it thinking critically seems easy to do. Hope this helps, and I certainly enjoy your motivations and insights.

WOW!!! Thank you for sharing that, John. This story can ring true for all of us, I think.

Yes, tensions are high these days (especially when traveling!), and this story gives us a perfect example of how we need to give grace and not just assume to know what we think or even see (from a distance), what is happening.

I’d say that the majority of the time, most of us have no idea what is really happening in these types of situations. And so this is a great reminder to give grace and don’t make assumptions.

Thank you for another really good lesson.

This is SO pertinent. We only see one side esp in news stories. We often don’t see what happened before they start the story.

You said it was “by chance” that you were next to the man’s wife on the train to a different terminal. I believe that few things are by chance. It was either Divine Providence or a holy moment brought on by the Holy Spirit, to bring you the lesson that followed. Great story with an important message, delivered in the usual John O amazing style!

Thanks for sharing this. It is definitely a great reminder, especially with how quick everyone gets heated up in today’s society. I will choose curiosity over judgement.

What a wonder reminder to get the Facts first!! And depending on what they are, pray about it!!
It’s so easy to walk around with blinders on, thinking we know the Answer when, in fact, we don’t even know what the Problem is!
We can never make a mistake when we turn the Problem over to the Lord!

Hello John, thank you so much for your honesty & humility. If you haven’t seen or heard of Brant Hansen’s book “Unoffendable”, I would highly recommend it for you & all of your subscribers. My wife & I both agree, it’s one of the best and most impactful books we have read.
Cheers, Jay

When I saw your original post, I didnt think much. I think I agreed that I would be frustrated with the man that we were all delayed. As I read the story today, I think I would have had the same reaction, but I thought, I generally travel with my kids, and when things happen when I am with my kids, I am always looking for a way to talk to them about it, where grace is offered to the person who is causing us strife, because “we just never truly know.” We dont know what their day has been like, what their circumstances are, etc., unless we ask. When I first started reading this story I thought, perhaps the man had some level of asbergers, and such a change was very disruptive and difficult for him. That is the sort of example I would have given to my kids. It is interesting to me how I am trying to teach my kids great patience and grace with strangers, and yet, I dont know that I would have had the same reaction if I was alone. Just a few thoughts as I read.

I hope you are well!

Thank you for sharing. I have and still work to overcome being judgmental. It seems my ancestors held tight to being judges, and I have seen the harm it can do. I pray that my work will help my children and grandchildren let go of judging and quick conclusions more easily.

I have warned myself not to be so judgmental. Even discussed it in reconciliation. The message here reinforced where I need to go. Thank you. I hope all is well. I just glanced at my crystal baseball before sending. It’s a great reminder.

Perfect reminder to pause and take a deep breath, like you said. Extending grace was the key quote for me. I worked in restaurants for 25 years and at times there were “difficult guests” a server had to deal with. They would complain to me and be upset by the demands and attitude of the guest they didn’t even know. They would sometimes declare in no uncertain terms that now their whole shift was ruined by that one guest (they would most likely never see again). I would pull them aside and tell them, “Look… you don’t know what kind of day, week, or life they’ve had for them to act the way they do. You can’t control their attitude, but you can control your reaction to it. Don’t let their bad attitude become yours. Don’t hand them control over you. It’s a choice. It’s your choice.”
Thank you for that reminder! It’s our choice how we react.

This was profound for me today and especially in this climate. The movie was great by the way. My caught was visibly affected by your story.

Great reminder John. There’s a story behind every story. And sometimes we just don’t understand. We show up on page 245 and think it’s a crappy story or a great story based on the paragraph we actually read. Thanks for reminding us to consider, be curious rather than assume.

Excellent. I am sorry you fell prey to assuming, but like you said we all do. I love the exercises of being shown a picture and you describe what is happening. We can read into so many things and let our biases go crazy. In a world of instant everything, it’s hard to step back. With the political uneasiness right now, I have really tried to force myself to do what you learned. It’s hard!

Thank you John for these wise words; curiosity over judgement indeed, and we should all have grace because there is no winning, just being. Thanks again for all you do.

I love the word curious vs judgment. Thank you…great lesson. And I must say, very humble of you to admit your error, John. That’s another great lesson for me (although I’m getting pretty good at doing that – ha).

great lesson for all of us,I think we will all get frustrated on and off,but we need to slow down before judging and lashing out,to find out the real story.Today’s world everyone lashes out on half truths it seems…..Good lesson,reminder.

We are all quick to comment. This is a good reminder. I have a couple friends that are very opinionated and I try to stay positive. There are times that I fall short.
This is a great reminder.

Thanks for the reminder John. It is so easy to jump to conclusions and “know”. Be curious not judge mental is my new fave quote.

John every Monday you make my week and make me think about so much of what you have to say. This was a great article in very hard times in my home state of Minnesota. God bless you

Oh MY! How I needed to hear this article today. So much is going on in the world at large that I’ve allowed to enter my brain space and suck the LIFE out of me, steering me onto judgemental, arrogant paths that I normally wouldn’t take. I need to disconnect from the media and reconnect to the ONE that made me! Keep going back to …. BE STILL AND KNOW…..Thanks so much John 🙂

Thank you for sharing…I had a young man yesterday come at me with frustration over me not including him in part of the service. I felt he was disrespectful and out of line. But when I thought about it now, his father in law was visiting from Australia, I am in Fresno, Ca. I think was dealing with low value, and was hoping to show his father in law his capability in the Church to shine in front of him. I will show him grace. Thanks again

Love this story!!

John O’leary spoke to us at Regional One Medical Center, Memphis TN in 2017 or 18
I’ve been a HUGE fan ever since.

I love this man and his message and his life
and….
after this post
I love his humbleness, honesty, and upfront vulnerability.

Thank you for being you. Your story blew me away and I remember every word u said that day u spoke to us. I’ve been quietly inspired by ur posts for almost a decade. I’ve never said thank you before. My bad.
Thank you so much, John O’leary!

Well said, John. As someone that used to travel extensively for work, i would sometimes let little things anger me or cloud my thoughts. As i have gotten older i have learned to just let things slide unless i am sure of what is happening.

“But what would happen if we paused before we judged. Listened before we reacted. Extended grace before we condemned.” This is, perhaps, one of the biggest challenges facing our world right now. I had the word “grace” tattooed on my arm several years ago to remind me to do just that. Pause. Try to understand. Show grace. If we all just did that one thing, I think we’d find ourselves living in a much better world. Thanks for the reminder, John.

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