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How long should I stay mad? I ask this more frequently than I’d like to admit. It’s likely one you wrestle with, too. Guys, this story completely changed my relationship to conflict. Read my full #MondayMotivation essay. https://johnolearyinspires.com/2020/11/what-would-you-do/

26 Nov

Find today's #LiveInspired Podcast as a fireside chat just me and you; to help you harness gratitude no matter how you find yourself celebrating today.

https://johnolearyinspires.com/podcast/archive/holiday-blues-310/

26 Nov

This Thanksgiving, our special series designed to help you navigate + find joy within the complexities of this year concludes. Hear my favorite Thanksgiving memory, what I'm grateful for this year + my favorite tips on harnessing gratitude.

https://johnolearyinspires.com/podcast/archive/holiday-blues-310/

26 Nov

Find today's #LiveInspired Podcast as a fireside chat just me and you; to help you harness gratitude no matter how you find yourself celebrating today.

https://johnolearyinspires.com/podcast/archive/holiday-blues-310/

“Being resentful is like taking poison… and wa

23 Nov

As we start Thanksgiving week, I’ve been thinking about what I'd like to say to help reduce anxiety + exhaustion you might be feeling. I decided the best words are those from Ms. Julia Jackson. https://johnolearyinspires.com/2020/11/what-would-you-say/ #MondayMotivation #Thanksgiving

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What would you say? As this week ushers us toward

17 years ago this evening, my sweet Dad stood up,

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thin

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18 minutes ago

"How long should I stay mad?"

Don’t know about you, but I ask myself this question with far more frequency than I’d like to admit.

It’s likely one you’ve wrestled with, too. Perhaps after a friend let you down, a coworker missed an important deadline, a child disobeyed, or a petty fight erupted with a family member. And with the added stress of the approaching holidays, we’ll likely have additional occasions of being somehow slighted, offended, or let down.

So, let me ask again, how long should we stay mad?

This was a question Walter Wangerin had to answer, too.

He shares vulnerably in his book Ragman: And Other Cries of Faith, that he and his wife had frequent disagreements when they were first married. Hot-tempered and prideful, his coping strategy in those early days was to storm out of the apartment, slam the door and walk it off.

Well, on one such occasion after a small disagreement, Walter angrily turned away from his wife, grabbed his jacket, put it on, stormed outside and slammed the door shut....Only to realize his coat was stuck in the doorjamb.

It was a frigid evening and pouring outside.
The door was locked.
He was trapped.

With the steady rain falling, Walter had just two choices.

He could take off the coat, leave it in the doorway and walk into the frigid rain without a jacket.

Or.

Or he could simply humble himself, ring the doorbell, have his wife open the door and be released from the prison.

So, what would you do?

Walter rang the bell.

His wife approached, looked out the window, and understood what happened. She saw her husband in the rain, soaked and stuck. The angry frown still present from their earlier fight dissolved into a gentle smile on her face. As she stepped closer, her smile grew in size, she began laughing, opened the door, lovingly grinned at her husband and invited him back in.

And like that, the fight was over.

The door was open and he was free to step out of the rain, into their apartment and back into relationship with his bride. It was that easy.

But Walter, still upset, did what I think many of us would have done:

He refused.
He hadn’t proved his point clearly enough.
He wasn’t done being mad.

He wrote, “In that moment, I could simply have laughed with her. And humor would have provided the bridge to reconciliation.
But I refused to do so.
I gathered up my coat.
And I walked off into the rainy evening.
A prisoner of my own refusal to laugh.”

My friends, how long should you stay mad?

I must admit that in my life, and perhaps you’ve found in yours, that even with the door open and the bridge of reconciliation available, I often choose to tug on my jacket, turn around in anger, and walk into the cold rain by myself.

But the better choice is to let go of our ego. Let go of the need to win or be right or prove the point.

Let’s choose to ring the bell,
meet their smile with ours,
and come back into the house.

Let’s choose to set down the poison,
reenter relationship,
and realize the gift of doing life, together.

This is your day. And Live Inspired.

PS: want an awesome story on forgiveness:
johnolearyinspires.com/podcast/archive/live-inspired-podcast-s3-ep-31-charlie-plumb ... See MoreSee Less

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14 hours ago

“Being resentful is like taking poison… and waiting for the other person to die.” - Nelson Mandela

How long should I stay mad?

Don’t know about you, but I ask myself this question with far more frequency than I’d like to admit.

It’s likely one you’ve wrestled with, too. Perhaps after a friend let you down, a coworker missed an important deadline, a child disobeyed, or a petty fight erupted with a family member. And with the added stress of the approaching holidays, we’ll likely have additional occasions of being somehow slighted, offended, or let down.

So, let me ask again, how long should we stay mad?

This was a question Walter Wangerin had to answer, too.

He shares vulnerably in his book Ragman: And Other Cries of Faith, that he and his wife had frequent disagreements when they were first married. Hot-tempered and prideful, his coping strategy in those early days was to storm out of the apartment, slam the door and walk it off.

Well, on one such occasion after a small disagreement, Walter angrily turned away from his wife, grabbed his jacket, put it on, stormed outside and slammed the door shut. Only to realize his coat was stuck in the doorjamb.

It was a frigid evening and pouring outside. The door was locked. He was trapped...

Guys, this story completely changed my relationship to conflict. Read my full #MondayMotivation essay on my website. The link is in the comments. ... See MoreSee Less

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John O'Leary - Live Inspired posted a video to playlist 'Electing Gratitude' Special Series.

4 days ago

This is our final episode in our special series, designed to help you navigate + find joy within the complexities of life this year. I share my favorite Thanksgiving memory, what I'm grateful for this year + my favorite tips on harnessing gratitude from past Live Inspired Podcast guests.

Think of this solo episode as a fireside chat just me and you; to help you harness gratitude no matter how you find yourself celebrating today.

Hear the full episode wherever you stream podcasts. Links in comments. ... See MoreSee Less

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5 days ago

We're fortunate to receive lots of correspondence from our friends. Although as a speaker and coaching business, we partner primarily with corporations and associations, my favorite letters typically come from hospital rooms, retirement homes and prisons.

Today, we received one from an individual who was struggling profoundly with an addiction, with lack of hope and with questions around the value of her life.

Her letter was packed with gratitude for what we've done for her .... the shift in her mindset .... the life she is now choosing to live .... and ended with some advice for us.

My friends, we all need this reminder as we stumble through the next several months together.

Unprecedented holidays.
Less sunlight and colder weather.
Virtual fatigue.
Stress and anxiety and sadness and despair.

In the midst of these emotions, heed the advice I was given today:

"When you feel like quitting,
Remember why you started."

And know that your life is a gift.
You aren't here by accident.
You are not alone.
And contrary to what the headlines portray,
your best days are ahead.

This is your day. Live Inspired. J ... See MoreSee Less

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7 days ago

Got a little frustrated after finding one of my kid's on the Playstation .... while eating ice cream... after I'd just told him to start his homework ...and no dessert until he was finished.

What do you think you are doing? {I asked in my best angry dad voice}

He looked up, caught in the act, and pleaded, "Sorry!"

I found myself spontaneously quoting something I heard a lot from my Dad growing up:

"Sometimes saying sorry just isn't enough.
Sometimes you just have to actually change."

My friends, this post isn't really about me slowly turning into my Dad [although quoting him out of anger is terrifying]
...or my kids needing constant reminders with Playstation or eating ice cream on the couch [although they might benefit from reading this, too!]

No, this is about us owning areas in all of our lives where we've been apologizing for not showing up, or for being rude to others, or excusing poor behavior.

"Sorry."

Maybe we don't need to apologize.

Maybe we need to change.

Maybe Dad is right. Sometimes saying sorry just ins't enough. Sometimes we just need to actually change.

This is your day. Live Inspired. J ... See MoreSee Less