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Home | | Live Inspired Podcast: S4 | Ep. 39 Ben Newman | journal-2-newman

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johnoleary.inspires

Live + virtual speaker. 2x bestselling author. Live Inspired Podcast Host. Best last: Husband. Dad.

Sometimes the moments when we disappoint those we

Sometimes the moments when we disappoint those we cherish the most can teach us the significance and value of keeping our word. The death of my beloved grandmother, a mistake I made afterwards, and an important lesson taught by my dad left an indelible impact on my life. Applying the lesson in your life might elevate not only your life, but also those to whom you make promises. Let me explain.
As my grandmother neared her 89th birthday, she faced the death of her husband and the complete loss of her short-term memory. To be closer to our family in St. Louis, she left Florida and resided just down the street from our house. We cherished having her in town and our Sunday afternoons spent with her, even as her recollection of who we were dwindled.
During my freshman year in college while preparing for a final exam, the phone rang.
"Honey, your grandmother... she passed away earlier today."
Though Grandma lived 96 years, the news still caught me off guard.
Mom and I reminisced about Grandma and just before hanging up, Mom added one more thing: "By the way, Dad is of course very sad about this. Make sure you call him today."
"Mom, I will. I promise."
And I meant it. But when the call ended, my eyes fell back to the textbook, resumed studying, still hopelessly lost and certain I'd call my dad that evening.
That night I went to the library to study. After taking the test Tuesday morning, this 19-year-old caught up with friends and went to lunch. Then began preparing for the next test. But somehow found time to play in an intramural soccer game and enjoy late night pizza, before studying more.
On Thursday afternoon, four days after my grandmother passed away, the phone in my dorm room rang again. It was my dad.
Dad, one of the kindest, most forgiving, and grace-filled individuals I know, wasted no time.
"John, I know she was old. I know she forgot your name. But she was my mom. I loved her. And a phone call from you would have made a difference."
My friends, I don't remember a thing about College Algebra and yet... continued in comments.

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How do you get the most out of life? @Philminator has an idea!

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Host of @TheAmazingRace @Philminator reminds us that humans are built for risk.

Today, @Philminator is the award-winning host of @

Today, @Philminator is the award-winning host of @TheAmazingRace and @ToughAsNails. Yet his first job in television was as an assistant making $6,999 a year.

Why does @Philminator believe that having healthy

Why does @Philminator believe that having healthy debate and conversation is important? @TheAmazingRace

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John O'Leary - Live Inspired

6 hours ago

Sometimes the moments when we disappoint those we cherish the most can teach us the significance and value of keeping our word. The death of my beloved grandmother, a mistake I made afterwards, and an important lesson taught by my dad left an indelible impact on my life. Applying the lesson in your life might elevate not only your life, but also those to whom you make promises. Let me explain.As my grandmother neared her 89th birthday, she faced the death of her husband and the complete loss of her short-term memory. To be closer to our family in St. Louis, she left Florida and resided just down the street from our house. We cherished having her in town and our Sunday afternoons spent with her, even as her recollection of who we were dwindled.During my freshman year in college, while engrossed in preparing for a final exam in my dorm room, the phone rang."Baby, are you sitting down?" Mom inquired.Staring down utterly lost at the College Algebra book opened on the desk, I assured her I already was, as my mind remained focused on impending finals."Honey, your grandmother... she passed away earlier today."Though Grandma lived 96 years, the news still caught me off guard.Mom and I reminisced about Grandma, shared our fondest memories, and laughed at her quirky expressions. We also discussed the upcoming funeral service scheduled for Friday.Just before hanging up, Mom added one more thing: "By the way, Dad is of course very sad about this. Make sure you call him today.""Mom, I will. I promise."And I meant it. But when the call ended, my eyes fell back to the textbook, resumed studying, still hopelessly lost and certain I'd call my dad that evening.That night I went to the library to study with friends who understood the material. After taking the test Tuesday morning, this 19-year-old caught up with friends and went to lunch. Then began preparing for the next test. But somehow found time to play in an intramural soccer game and enjoy late night pizza, before studying more.On Thursday afternoon, four days after my grandmother passed away, the phone in my dorm room rang again. It was my dad.Dad, one of the kindest, most forgiving, and grace-filled individuals I know, wasted no time."John, I know she was old. I know she forgot your name. But she was my mom. I loved her. And a phone call from you would have made a difference."My friends, I don't remember a thing about College Algebra and today struggle helping my children with their grade school math. I don’t recall the World History exam the following day and barely passed Macroeconomics the day after that. Yet, that brief, painful, and candid conversation with my dad 30 years later remains etched in my memory."John, I know she was old. I know she forgot your name. But she was my Mom. I loved her. And a phone call from you would have made a difference."If you've read this far, it's easy to pass judgment. What were you thinking, John? How selfish could you be? You didn't even call your dad when his mom passed away?And, my friends, I completely agree with you.However, I implore you to reflect on your life, your commitments, your promises. We are all guilty of getting caught up, becoming self-absorbed, focusing on our work, our health, our problems, our stuff. We all struggle navigating hectic lives managing chaos, over-committing, losing focus, breaking promises, and causing disappointments.So, how can we boldly take the next right step?1. Learn from Our Mistakes: Acknowledge and own personal lapses in responsibility and commitments. Embrace the times we break promises to others- and to ourselves- and the hurt caused.2. Ask for Forgiveness. After telling my Dad how sorry I was to not have called, I’ll never forget that he said, “John, I love you and always will. I forgive you and know you’re better than that. I just want you to act like it.”3. Do Better Going Forward: Make a commitment to improve, to keep your word, and to prioritize the people who matter most. Become a person that when you say you’ll do something, you always lives into it.4. Extend Grace to Others: We live in a broken world, require forgiveness from others and are called to extend that same grace to others. Doing so not only liberates someone else from carrying a burdensome weight, it frees us, too.My friends, we won’t achieve perfection this side of eternity, but by learning from our mistakes, asking for forgiveness, endeavoring to be better and extending grace, we can we truly become people of greater integrity, foster deeper connections and enrich not only our own lives, but those we’re keep our promises to going forward.It won’t change the mistakes we’ve made in the past. It just ensures we do better because of them.This is your day. Live Inspired. ... See MoreSee Less

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John O'Leary - Live Inspired

19 hours ago

"My name is Adam."Several years ago I had the honor of speaking with the St. Louis Cardinals team. It occurred during Spring Training as they prepared for the year ahead. Leadership thought it would be important for the players receive a message of what was required to be a winner both on -- and off -- the field. Now, professional athletes can be pretty intense, are fairly set in their ways and some [you'll be stunned by this!] are even a bit self-focused.But the first person into the room that day ... was also the last one to leave. His name was Adam Wainwright. He was the Cardinals star pitcher, the most respected players in the room, and also one of the most admired in all Major League Baseball. He introduced himself by shaking my hand, giving me a hug, looking me in the eyes and humbly saying, "My name is Adam." ....as if I didn't already know!Well, today was Adam's last game as a St. Louis Cardinal. 18 seasons all with one team. 200 game won. 2,200 strikeouts. 2X World Series Championships. 3X All-Star. 4X top finisher as one of the best pitchers in baseball....And the stats that don't appear on his baseball card include that he married his first love and they've been together 20 years. They have four daughters and recently adopted a little boy. He's known as being a constant servant, always joyful and has been a faithful steward of the many gifts he's received.My friends, Adam spent an illustrious career making every single player, coach, equipment manager, grounds person, usher and ordinary fan feel as if they mattered. True greatness isn't about individual stats, but the love we invest into others.Adam reminded us for his entire career that while none of us could throw a curve ball the way he could, everyone of us had the potential to be great ... because anyone of us could choose to serve the one in front of them. Thanks for the ride, Adam. It was nice to meet you. And it's been awesome learning how to truly win in the game of life from you. JO ... See MoreSee Less

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John O'Leary - Live Inspired

3 days ago

Need a little dose of John O'Leary? Each month, we host a live Zoom for members of our Live Inspired Together community. We always laugh, we sometimes cry and no matter what we go into a new month FIRED UP. Our next meeting is Monday, October 2 at 4 pm CST. We hope you’ll join us to see what it’s all about. To attend, join our Live Inspired Together community and we'll send you the Zoom link! community.liveinspiredtogether.com/registrations/groups/66867 ... See MoreSee Less

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John O'Leary - Live Inspired

4 days ago

Phil Keoghan is arguably the most traveled television host on the planet. As the host of The Amazing Race on CBS and Paramount+, the multiple Emmy Award-winning reality series where teams of two embark on a trek around the world, Phil has experienced a life full of travel and adventure.Today, fresh off the milestone 35th season premiere of The Amazing Race, Phil joins us to share how he’s been globetrotting since a young boy, how his working-class parents and grandparents inspired his other hit show Tough As Nails on CBS and so much more.My friends, today’s conversation will inspire you to take risks, accept and love all of those around you, and live life to the fullest.Listen to Phil Keoghan on Live Inspired Podcast ep. 606 now!🌎 My website: johnolearyinspires.com/podcast/archive/phil-keoghan/🌎 Your favorite podcast app: link.chtbl.com/tOmM9ExS ... See MoreSee Less

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John O'Leary - Live Inspired

1 week ago

“Sympathy is easy because it comes from a position of power. Empathy is getting down on your knees and looking someone else in the eye, and realizing that you could be them, and that all that separates you is luck.” -Dennis LahaneWhile on my knees next to my fallen dad several years ago, I thought of this quote.Dad has been living with Parkinson’s disease for almost three decades. Over this time, he’s lost the ability to walk, drive and earn. It’s difficult for my dad to speak and lately, becoming more difficult to swallow.And yet today, Dad, seated in his trusty wheelchair, is the perfect embodiment of the joy we all wish we possessed.He engages with those around him. He smiles and laughs easily. He’s grateful for all he has and content with his life. Dad deals with constant pain and is racked with continuous challenges, but simply refuses to be a victim to his circumstances.But even as his son, it’s easy to miss the totality of his difficulties. When I see Dad, he’s got his khaki pants on, shirt tucked in, hair brushed, and smile on. He makes it look easy.But with Mom away for a weekend with her daughters several years ago, I saw firsthand how hard it actually is.Every single movement Dad made was ripe with risk and a chance of pain. Due to a torn rotator cuff, he was unable to use his right arm, which created far greater stress on his left arm. Simple activities many of us take for granted – rising from his bed, sitting up, pivoting into a wheelchair, rolling toward the bathroom, getting dressed – required great effort.I obviously suspected it was hard, but staying with my dad and caring for him in my mother’s absence gave me a totally different understanding.As we prepared for bed, I rolled Dad into the bathroom. I helped him change, wash his face, and use the bathroom. As he stood to transfer, Dad lost his balance, I lost my grip, and we both fell.It wasn’t physically painful for either of us, but it was eye opening for me.There we were, on a cold tile floor. My sweet dad struggling to get back into the chair. His under-powered son trying to help, but also mindful of sore limbs and cautious not to cause greater injury.On our hands and knees, we caught our breath. For a long while, we just stared at each other.No words were spoken. None had to be. And perhaps for the first time since my father’s Parkinson’s diagnosis I had sincere, heart-wrenching, eye-opening empathy for what this brave man deals with each day.As his caretaker that evening, though, my heart expanded even more for his primary caretaker, his awesome wife, my remarkable mom.Like my dad, Mom never complains. A mighty reason why their life is as beautiful as it is stems from her steadfast faithfulness, ferocious optimism, and loving stubbornness. She just refuses to give in or to give up. She simply loves life too much for that attitude. And she loves her husband too much.It just took laying on their tile bathroom floor for me to see it clearly.(I was reminded of this experience while interviewing Dr. Sarah Teten Canter on our podcast last week. If you are one of the more than 54 million people responsible for caregiving for a loved one, she’s an expert on positive caregiving and has an amazing life story to share. Check it out here: johnolearyinspires.com/podcast/archive/sarah-teten-kanter/)My friends, the best way to really know about someone else is to be humble enough to get down on our knees, meet them where they are, look them in the eye, and realize that we could be them.Sometimes the person we’ll connect more deeply with will be someone we may not look, vote, worship, or act like. Other times, it will be a person you’ve loved your entire life that you’re fortunate enough to call Dad.This is your day. Live Inspired. ... See MoreSee Less

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