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Love Your Kids Without Losing Yourself | Dr. Morgan Cutlip (ep. 616)

Dr. Morgan Cutlip

Dr. Morgan Cutlip joins John O’Leary on the Live Inspired Podcast and reminds each of us that we have the agency to make changes that can lead to massive transfer transformation in your relationships.

As a psychotherapist and relationship expert, Dr. Morgan Cutlip is on a mission to help women feel empowered in all of their relationships so that they feel whole, light, and deeply connected to those they love. To date, Morgan has helped more than 100,000 moms regain their sanity and prevent burnout.

Today, Morgan shares her wisdom around how to prioritize your life, the myth around a permanent resting state of balance, the important of focusing on the good instead of the ways we fall short… and so much more.

My friends, whether you’re a parent or caregiver, or love someone who is, this conversation reminds each of us that we have the agency to make changes that can lead to massive transformation in our relationships.

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SHOW NOTES:

  • “Her pain was my sister’s and my gain.” Morgan shares how her experience being mothered was different than her mother’s experience being mothered.
  • After children, may relationships face challenges are new roles are being assigned and responsibilities are being adjusted. Morgan encourages to pose the question, “what do you miss most about our relationship before we had children?” to your partner to reminisce about what made you fall in love with them.
  • “When we throw ourselves fully into our kids, we burn out, we develop resentment and we feel disappointment with life. When we put ourselves at the forefront of our lives, we also feel terrible with things like shame and guilt and we worry that we are missing out on those special moments with our kids. Finding a balance of priorities feels futile.”
  • Permanent resting state of balance is a myth. Morgan reminds us that you may achieve a moment of balance but don’t be shocked when another round of turbulence hits.
  • Are you prioritizing your life in a way that you can feel at peace with? “We don’t really need to be after balance. We need to learn how to be really good at balancing. It’s a practice. This is what’s most sustainable.”
  • Good enough is better than perfect. Morgan reminds us that it’s okay to make mistakes in front of our children and they need an opportunity to figure out the world around them for themselves.
  • To prevent anxiety around parenting perfectly imperfect, Morgan reminds us that the instances we did something manageably difficult and succeeded taught us confidence, resiliency and growth.
  • Go Mom yourself. “Moms are really the master managers of the people and the things in life but aren’t always great at turning those same skills toward ourselves.”
  • Having needs does not make you needy. Morgan reminds us that when we don’t express our needs, over time we become resentful, irritated, burned out and bitter toward the people we love.
  • We can’t parent our children with intention and care while abandoning ourselves for the cause.
  • If only we focused on the good instead of the ways that we fall short. The way that we see ourselves really matters and we have the power to control the picture we sketch in our minds of ourselves.
  • Get a copy of Dr. Morgan Cutlip’s book Love Your Kids Without Losing Yourself here.

Did you enjoy today’s episode?

I encourage you to check out my conversation with Dr. Tim Jones. Dr. Tim Jordan is a developmental and behavioral pediatrician and expert on navigating children through their normal developmental transformations, to emerge strong, happy and fulfilled. Hear Tim share his common sense approach that enables parents to be more confident and effective, reducing conflict and drama while remaining a strong influence in their children’s lives throughout adolescence and early adulthood. Listen to Dr. Tim Jordan on ep. 330.

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DR. MORGAN CUTLIP'S LIVE INSPIRED 7

  1. Q. What is the best book you’ve ever read?
    A. The Boy Crisis by Warren Farrell and John Gray.
  2. Q. What is a characteristic or trait that you possessed as a child that you wish you still exhibited today?
    A. I remember teaching to my fake classroom and I'm very much the same today as that girl growing up. It brings me the most love and happiness teaching others. I could lean into play a little bit.
  3. Q. Your house is on fire, all living things and people are out. You have the opportunity to run in and grab one item. What would it be?
    A. I have a stuffed animal named Calvin.
  4. Q. You are sitting on a bench overlooking a gorgeous beach. You have the opportunity to have a long conversation with anyone living or dead. Who would it be?
    A. My dad and I realize this is ridiculous because he lives three blocks away from me.
  5. Q. What is the best advice you’ve ever received?
    A. Give generous interpretations of people as much as possible.
  6. Q. What advice would you give your 20-year-old self?
    A. Give people less chances, which I understand contradicts like last advice!
  7. Q. It’s been said that all great people can have their lives summed up in one sentence. How do you want yours to read?
    A. She loved fiercely and fully and showed up in the world authentically.