Orv Kimbrough: Building a Finer Life Through Hardship and Hope (ep. 758)

SHOW NOTES:

• Less than three percent of children who age out of the foster care system will continue to college with even less graduating.
• Born in East St. Louis, Orv never knew his father, lost his mother when he was eight years old and endured physically, emotionally and sexually abuse.
• “When you let the things that bind us up go, great things happen in your life.”
• Having grown up hungry—often eating from the trash or relying on discarded leftovers from the school cafeteria—Orv now buys extra meals almost instinctively, a lingering response to the uncertainty of not knowing where his next meal would come from.
• A Mansion of Misery: After losing his mother, Orv and his siblings went to live with their cousin Aunt Shirley. Orv returns to the area each year, still feeling the same fear and pain he knew as a little boy.
• “Fear and loneliness were constant companions after my mother’s death.”
• Unexpected. Unwanted. Unloved. Aunt Shirley was praised for her generosity in taking them in, but behind closed doors, the abuse she inflicted was overlooked.
• While at the Annie Malone’s group home, Orv began to recognize the gamification of life and learned to channel his anger into productive engery because he saw it drew others closer to him.
• Mrs. Kennedy, Orv’s high school guidance counselor and Djaun Robinson, a former houseparent turned director at YMCA, were two individuals who poured into him.
• At University of Missouri, Orv reframed his thinking, took personal agency and renamed his social network to ensure they were aligned in his vision to graduate with a degree.
• “We are my kid’s navigational partner.”
• While working at J.C. Penney, Orv learned to be passionate about what you’re selling and how to engage with others. It was also the first time a manager told him he has limitless opportunities. His time at Popeye’s taught him hard work. At United Way, Orv learned about the power of connection
•  ”All good things that have happened to me have always happened to me on the other side of the right relationship,”
• How to listen with grace when someone has a completely different perspective than you? Listen, honor their perspective and share your perspective.
• As a husband—without a model to follow—Orv has learned patience, teamwork, and collaboration are essential.
• As a father, he discovered that leadership is about coaching, helping optimize and actualize to become the version of themselves they can be most proud of.
• “Don’t be a leader of one book. Be well-read.”
• Get a copy of Orv Kimbrough’s book Twice Over a Man here.

Twice Over a Man by Orv Kimbrough

Here I stand at last, more than twice over a man,

Fear is no longer the dominant cast, though still prominent in the plan

The plan has been survived, forgive to reach twenty-eight was ideal

Each year that takes me past that point can be professed as surreal

 

It’s surreal that I forgave,

After all but hope had been taken away my development was surely delayed,

 

I coped without notice of the Spirit dwelling within,

Fortifying my position and beliefs, subduing grief, making faith my friend

 

The plan was significance not just to outlive,

But to reshape a spirit of timidness and remake our family shield

 

Shield from the land that sought to snatch potential from the womb,

Shield from the molesting hand seeking to permanently entomb

Shield from the man who tells you who you are, and

Instead of lifting your sights on all to behold, keeps you focused on the scar

 

Shield from impoverished thinking, abundance is the goal

Shield from the brokenness, a strong hold that exacts its toll

Shield from a mindset, already set to fail,

because you’ve not yet seen success from among the place you hail

 

Becoming anything means always overcoming

I wake often still wondering ,when life’s clock will stop

A preoccupation of sorts with life and death, another optional plot

Though focused on the here and now,

Memories are constant and tears fall down

My past is still very much afloat

Despite my effort to submerge it will not drown

 

It’s not sorrow I borrow, just for company’s sake

It’s a permanence of sadness that comes with trauma that makes it an irreplaceable trait

But sadness isn’t the end, there is joy to be had

And I have had plenty of joy being husband, provider, and dad.

 

I have had plenty of joy finding purpose to this life, I’m climbing, clinging to the things that matter most, supplanting defeatism with a different host

 

I often think about you mother and wonder if you’re proud of the man that I become to date as You watch me through the cloud

As I navigate my way through life I wonder if it was you

Who instilled in me a faith so strong and the will to see life through

 

Here I stand at last, more than twice over a man,

With the shield of protection from God above so

The next generation can…

Did you enjoy today’s episode?

You’ll love my conversation with Steve Pemberton. Like Orv, Steve grew up in the foster care system, experiencing neglect and hardship. Yet, small gestures of kindness helped him forge a new path—one that led to personal and professional success. Today, Steve is a husband, father, bestselling author of A Chance in the World and a trail-blazing executive championing workplaces where employees feel recognized, respected, and appreciated for who they are and what they do. His story is a testament to the power of hope, resilience, and the profound impact we can have on others simply by showing up. Listen to Steve Pemberton on ep. 348.