Sister Monica Clare: Leaving Behind Everything to Become a Nun (ep. 782)

SHOW NOTES:

• Chaotic childhood: Sister Monica described her upbringing as chaotic, marred by abuse, instability, and poverty. Her father was a violent drug addict and alcoholic and her mother married at 16, stunted emotionally by cultural expectations, but later revealed her brilliance.
• Despite hardship, her grandmother Zelda’s deep faith rooted Sister Monica in hope and a belief that suffering had purpose.
• She was drawn to nuns and convent life as a child, seeing in them the order and peace missing from her home.
• White Trash: The cruel comment from a friend’s parent after catching her swimming without permission underscored the deep shame poverty inflicted.
• She found hope in her aunt, a woman who left the South to pursue education, and built a life of culture and independence. Her stepfather was a drill sergeant who celebrated her full-ride scholarship to New York University.
• How did Sister Monica’s career path prepare her for sisterhood?
  • A successful advertising career left her craving a meaning beyond consumerism.
  • Early radio experience in Georgia unexpectedly prepared her for public speaking, including narrating her audiobook.
  • Her time as a nanny taught her how to manage others, be a strong leader and resolve conflicts… all skills she uses to this day within her religious community.
  • Standup comedy and advertising taught her to use humor to connect, lead, and defuse tension.
• She once entered a marriage under societal pressure, to silence the “why is she single?” chorus, not love.
• Her atheist husband’s ridicule of her faith only solidified how important her spirituality was. The marriage ended after she discovered his secret life through his email which was a traumatic yet clarifying moment.
• “Relief and grief can coexist.” She felt both when walking away from a failed marriage and unfulfilling career.
• Therapy, Al-Anon and personality tests helped her begin to recognize and accept her authentic self.
• She entered the convent at 46, later than most, and struggled to adjust after 20 years of living alone. Her order, the Community of St. John Baptist in New Jersey, is composed of strong-willed women which gave her permission to be more honest and less co-dependent.
• How to deepen your relationship with God: Just like many of us have regular points of contact with your loved ones throughout the day, Sister Monica encourages us to have regular points of contact with God in order to deepen our relationship with Him.
• Some of my favorite quotes from Sister Monica Clare:
  • “It’s never too late to become the person you were meant to be.”
  • “My past didn’t disqualify me. It prepared me.” Her troubled history became her strength and testimony.
  • “There is holiness in humor. Jesus laughed and so should we.” Humor, she insists, is vital in spiritual life and leadership.
  • “Habit or hoodie: Same mission.” You can serve God in any clothing because holiness isn’t confined to robes.
  • “Leaving behind everything wasn’t loss. It was freedom.” Quitting her job and walking away from past pain allowed her to flourish.
• Get a copy of Sister Monica Clare’s book A Change of Habit here.