Brave Enough to Be Broken | Toni Collier (ep. 510)

SHOW NOTES:

• Seeking safety, protection and validation, Toni’s preteen and early teenage years were plagued with trauma.
• “We numb to survive.”
• After graduating high school at 16 and college at 19 and moving across country to start a career with her new husband, Toni’s life was seemingly perfect.
• When she saw the fear in her daughter’s eyes and began to find a safe community is when Toni began to recognize the importance of getting out of her unhealthy marriage.
• Community exposes your weaknesses and where you need healing.
• “Before finding really great community, I had to look in the mirror and see if I was a friend I would want…. Then I had to see who in my life drifts towards toxicity and who is pulling me forward towards hope.”
• Toni expresses the importance of mentors, those who have the time and capacity to walk alongside, and sponsors, those who facilitate a connection or resource.
• “When I practice gratitude, I’m able to live life on the offensive, not defense.”
• “Guilt says I’ve done something bad. Shame says I am bad.”
• If you can name it, you can heal it: When Toni felt safe enough to share her past with Sam, she was able to get the help needed to thrive.
• While always vulnerable, being liberated from her past trauma, Toni is able to be transparent in safe spaces and then authentic in all other aspects of life.
• “I want my daughter to know the depths of the pain I walked through but also to know that I walked out of it with a smile and my head held high. It wasn’t because of how strong I was or am but my willingness to be weak.”
• For those that are struggling:
  • It’s okay to sit in the valleys. “Some of us don’t want perfection. We want the freedom to be in pain.”
  • You don’t have to stay in the valleys.
• Get a copy of Toni Collier’s book Brave Enough to Be Broken here.

Did you enjoy today’s episode?

You’ll love my conversation with Nick Vujicic. After being born without arms or legs, Nick faced tremendous obstacles including helplessness and isolation —  until he discovered his purpose. As a New York Times bestselling author, international speaker and an ambassador of hope, Nick reminds each of us that we all can rise above adversity, overcome every disability, and live a life without limits. Hear my conversation with Nick Vujicic on ep. 254.